How to Share Space Without Losing Your Sanity

8 tips that are (hopefully) therapist approved

Jun 06, 2025

It’s never a good look when you try to outsmart your therapist.

Last week, I told mine that I tidied my mom’s apartment nightly and pushed my son to study—because those were things they wanted. Good grades and tidy spaces.

Her reply?

If they have those things, then they’ll feel better.

I nodded—maybe a little too quickly.

Then she said:

And if they feel better, you feel better.

Gulp.

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to rebrand my codependency as something less... cringey. But (thankfully for my healing journey) I’ve been gently outed.

There’s now a flashlight on the places where I’m still gripping tightly—where my emotions are tangled up with someone else’s reality.

Here’s the thing….

What do you do when someone else’s stuff is disrupting your peace?

Do you shove it into a closet? Pretend it’s not bothering you? Fantasize about dropping it off at Goodwill?

With a few exceptions, my answer is: you don’t control other people’s things.

But you’re not powerless either.

There are things you can do to reclaim your clarity and create better energy in your space—even when it’s shared.

HERE ARE MY 8 WAYS TO NAVIGATE THE WATERS OF SHARED SPACE ::

Pause first
When we have open space in our homes, friends or family members sometimes ask us to store their things. Often, it’s for a good reason and a defined period of time. But before saying yes, pause. Sometimes, people pass their indecision onto us so they don’t have to make the hard choice to let go. And when we store belongings that don’t belong to those living in our home, we’re also living with the emotional and energetic weight of those things.
Untangle
To know what’s truly yours to deal with, you first need to create separation. For example, if a big pile of papers on the kitchen counter is driving you crazy, pull out and handle the ones that belong to you. Clarity begins with what’s in your control.
Let go
Before aiming your frustration at someone else’s clutter, start by decluttering your own things. Unapologetically release anything you don’t love, use, or need—even the stuff buried in the back of the closet that seems invisible. It still carries energy. And it can impact your space just as much as your partner’s pile of gear in plain sight.
Create boundaries
As the saying goes, fences make good neighbors. The same applies at home. If someone’s belongings are spilling into shared space, it’s time for a house rule: stuffed animals go in the basket at bedtime, dirty clothes land in the hamper, and each person’s clothing stays on their side of the closet. Boundaries bring clarity and peace.
Clean
While it’s not wise to throw away someone else’s things, it’s okay to clean around them—or even clean the items themselves. Often, tidying serves as a subtle invitation. It signals movement and can spark others into action.
Organize
Like cleaning, organizing someone else’s things—with their permission—can shift the energy of a space. When things are visible and accessible, it can inspire a natural next step: letting go of what’s no longer needed. At the very least, it creates a calmer environment than a chaotic pile.
Add beauty
If you’re stuck staring at clutter you can’t control, shift your focus. Place something you love in the same line of sight—a framed photo, a vase of flowers, a beautiful painting. Energy follows attention. When you focus on what uplifts you, it expands.
Space clear
Even when you can’t physically clear a space, you can energetically cleanse it. Open a window. Diffuse essential oils. Play music. Place a bowl of salt to absorb stagnant energy. (You can read my article HERE about using salt to mop up heavy energy.)

NOW OVER TO YOU

What’s your best advice for navigating life with others?

Let us know in the comments. We’d love to hear!

House Talk

Discussion about this post